Haiku Review: MCU Edition

Everybody else is doing it.

NAH.

23. Hulk
Too much CGI
And joyless, like its villain —
Roth … was a bad choice.

22. Thor: The Dark World
Too dark, gloomy, and,
Ms. Portman notwithstanding,
A chore to look at.

MEH.

21. Iron Man 2
Sort of surprising
That RDJ could sleepwalk
Through all the chaos.

20. Dr. Strange
Liked the second act
And the ending was clever.
I forgot the rest.

19. Spider-Man: Far from Home
It’s hard to believe,
But here’s a Marvel premise
I thought was far-fetched.

18. Thor
It’s uneven, but
I get what they were trying.
And it’s never dumb.

HMM.

17. Captain Marvel
A feminist work
More “admirable” than good.
I love the 90s.

16. Iron Man 3
The first half: boring.
Second half: kick-ass. The end:
A giant plot hole.

15. Ant-Man and the Wasp
A lot of fun, if
You don’t think hard about it.
Not enough heart, though.

14. Spider-Man: Homecoming
Quite charming, in a
John-Hughes-does-capes kind of way.
Michael Keaton rules.

13. Avengers: Age of Ultron
The dizzying highs!
The frustrating lows! But hey,
When it works, it WORKS.

YES.

12. Captain America: Civil War
Kind of rote, and yet
The sheer spectacle makes it
So rewatchable.

11. Ant-Man
I’m a sucker for
A good heist movie. Paul Rudd:
He’s so likeable!

10. Black Panther
Not a banger, but
this film disguised as “tentpole”
Is just important.

AHA!

9. Guardians of the Galaxy
“Avengers in space”
Is light, funny and fast-paced,
If awfully weird.

8. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Like most families,
It’s kind of heavy-handed,
But you still love it.

7. Iron Man
The Hero’s Journey
has been told before, often,
But rarely so well.

6. Captain America: The First Avenger
This story’s heart beats
So strong, and so loud, you might
Miss how good it looks

YAY!

5. Avengers Infinity War
Like a chess open,
It slowly closes ’round you
Then just knocks you out

4. The Avengers
This one worked so well
Every other studio
Keeps copying it.

3. Thor: Ragnarok
A rich and stunning
Sci-fi action comedy.
They figured out Thor!

2. Avengers Endgame
Yes, it’s fan service.
But that service is top-notch.
I still get the feels.

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
A kick-ass action-
political-thriller film
That stands on its own.

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